Self employment

I've been self employed for over 10 years. Let me rephrase that, the majority of my working hours are considered self employment but I am an employee for 2 days of the week. I am most likely very average for many self employed people, keeping something on the side for a regular paycheque. I was raised in a Northern City where there was one major employer and I absorbed the attitude of "job security". Not having a regular paycheque was equivalent to financial suicide. I have balanced these two career lifestyles and warred with myself frequently about making the jump into complete self employment but the self employment pay cheque is erratic, a feast or famine scenario. Quite frankly, my life would be much easier if I increased my employee hours, the work is there, but I cannot even fathom doing that. I think about my home business 24/7. I am constantly writing notes and developing courses and programs and other methods of creating income. I work very hard to provide a superior product and then work even more on improving them. My mind rarely shuts down. There are the odd days where the thought of doing anything for my home business feel more like work then it should. I ask myself if I am avoiding a job or really simply drained. I try to work through the aversions and listen to my body when I feel drained. I work much harder at my self employment for considerably less financial remuneration but while it does not feed me on a financial level, it provides me creativity, spirituality and independence of thought. So for now, I will stay employed part-time and continue with my self employment. The boss of my home business is awesome.